Even if a son or daughter has long been over 30, for parents they still remain children. It is not easy to see an independent adult in his child. It is especially difficult when it is about a teenager. Psychologist Caili Hokridge told how to communicate with children who will leave the house soon.
Summer almost ended, and many teenagers will soon go to the university in another city. This summer has become a time of change for them: they decided on a future profession, their world has become a little different. But we still do not know how to behave with matured children, how to help them open and tell about our fears and excitements. Here are five tips that are useful to parents.
1. Remember that we are all different
Everyone perceives life in their own way, and we relate to changes in different ways. Try not to forget that your experience is different from your child’s experience.
Perhaps he is afraid to share fears and doubts or thinks that you will consider his feelings insignificant. The only way to find out what he thinks and feels is to ask him about it.
Do not immediately start a conversation. Ask how you are and how he feels. This will launch communication.
2. Take your time with advice
It is remarkable that you know how to solve the problems of another person, but most likely you just think so.
If a teenager feels confusion or anxiety, it is better to just be near. Give him the opportunity to experience these experiences without condemnation on your part. Do not wait and do not demand that he do something to change these feelings. Listen and let’s understand what you will always help and support.
When a child becomes an adult, relationships are changing, especially if he leaves to study in another city. You cannot help him every day. Learn to simply support the child, and not give ready -made solutions.
3. Appreciate the feelings and experience of a teenager
You may not agree with his views on life, but it is important that he knows: his feelings are important to you. When your child leaves home, he parted not only with his family and with the usual way of life, but also with friends. He is scared by loneliness and a new life in an unfamiliar place. At this moment, many parents say: “Everything will be wonderful. You will still find many new friends “.
You wanted to support it, but such words can hurt a teenager. Better to say: “I’m very sorry. I know how hard it is to part with friends “. So you will show that you value and understand his feelings.
4. Communicate your family
It seems that young people do not need relatives. They walk all the time or sit on social networks. But I think that most teenagers appreciate the family. It is worth inventing some family classes this summer https://brunomaciel.adv.br/cat-onlajn-igrat-v-onlajn-ruletku-chestnoe/.
It can be nature trips or family film examinations. You can have fun to teach the teenager the wisdom of an independent life, for example, washing and cooking. Communicate and appreciate the moments spent together.
5. Be honest
The best way to call a child to a frank conversation is to be honest ourselves. Do not be afraid to seem weak.
Install a new format of relations in which your teenager will be able to perceive you not only as a restless parent, but also as an adult equal. Honestly share your experiences with him, tell us what to be sad when you think about his move. When you openly share your emotions with your child, he learns to communicate in an adult way.
But you do not need to pour all your experiences on a teenager – share only what you are comfortable to tell about. Try to be honest and open. When the children grow up, it is useful for them to recognize parents not only as a mother and father, but also as an adult with their worries, fears and feelings.
